NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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