that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
