Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
