there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
