well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
false alarm, still single
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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