dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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