She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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