You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
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