I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
