i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
