i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
