Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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