if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
