do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I believe in your delicious
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
