Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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