I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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