oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
