worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
