So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
