the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
