the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
