We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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