You made me cry and you don't even care
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
