Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
