I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
