Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize