Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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