she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
