I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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