I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize