I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
