Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
