She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
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PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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