you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
