..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
