We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
