the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
