i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
