The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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