ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
