Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
