Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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