It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
