I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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