She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
