is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
