Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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