You can't motorboat a personality
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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