Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
