Already got asked if we're dating
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
