marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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