just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
