I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
