go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
