You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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