Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
