Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
