i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize