That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
