But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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