i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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