I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
