come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
