no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
