She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
